Secret Shopper

Dear Other Guy,

Hey Other Guy. I see you shopping in the store with me. You acting all sluggish as you trail behind your girlfriend. Did that thing look good that she just picked up? Who knows, but I think you said yes. Did you say it with enough enthusiasm to get her not to question your response? Uh oh, looks like you missed that one. You'll have to get it right on the next item, oh, there it is.

Ah, you're getting better. Better get out your phone and see if you, uhp.. no, bars....

Hey, don't think I didn't just see you look around for something to sit down on, good luck, I've been looking since I walked in.

Woah other guy, slow down. When she heads off to the other end of the store, the end you walked past to get to where you are now, leaving you wondering why you walked past it if she intention to walk right back there, you don't need to stay close. You bet your ass she's coming right back, well, with a few circles around a rack of clothing she doesn't want, other than for an excuse to go back to, just to see if maybe that thing she saw was cute or not.

Ok other guy, I saw you just give her the glance while holding your watch near her. You know you just screwed yourself right? Now, even though you are right here shopping with her, and you'll probably go to 10 more stores, you are getting no credit. Sorry bud, you tried, but when you get home, all she's going to remember is that glance when she says something like "can we go back tomorrow to see if there's something I missed"

Uh oh. I've got to go to the try on zone. I'll probably see you in another store in a bit. You don't have to make eye contact with me, without words letting me know how you feel. I know how you feel.

Wish me luck other guy.